The Book Oscars

blue-ribbon I read somewhere (Tumblr?) that there should be an awards show for books and authors. This got me thinking. We have a bunch of book awards: the Pulitzer prize, the Nobel prize for Literature, the National Book Award. Often, though, these have very few categories (Fiction, Poetry, Nonfiction).

We do have the Goodreads Choice Awards where Goodreads users vote for their favorite books in various categories: Biography, Nonfiction, Fiction/Literature, Romance, Young Adult, etc.

But no, books don’t have something like the Oscars for books. I mean, can you imagine a bunch of reclusive authors dressing up and standing awkwardly on the red carpet, then getting up on stage for an award they really don’t feel they deserve?

Hollywood is full of beautiful, poised people. They make their living off of acting and looking a certain way. Though most of us are talented, writers are not paid for our looks or our performance skills. No one cares about what we wore to the grocery store. No one is getting their hair cut in our style.

But you know what? Let’s entertain this idea. These are the categories I think should be part of a future Book Oscars award show.

  • Best Author
  • Best Female Protagonist
  • Best Male Protagonist
  • Best Book Couple
  • Best Romance/Fantasy/Historical/Young Adult/Mystery/Fill in the Genre Blank here!
  • Best Book Cover
  • Scariest Book
  • Most Poetic Writing
  • Most Interesting Nonfiction Book
  • Best Series
  • Most Prolific Author
  • This Book Should Be a Movie
  • This Book Should Be a TV Series
  • I’d Never Want to Live There
  • Wow, I Wasn’t Expecting This One to be Good
  • Best Book Boyfriend
  • Best Book Best Friend
  • Most Interesting Magic System
  • Couldn’t Put It Down
  • Best Setting
  • Didn’t See That Plot Twist Coming
  • Most Likely to be Taught in Schools in 100 Years
  • I Cried My Eyes Out In a Good Way

Well, maybe some of those are a little off, but you get the point. A book awards show would be strange. As a writer, I’d be like, ‘Oh hell no’ mostly because I’d be jealous of all these successful authors. But as a reader, I’d probably really enjoy it. Who are the people behind my favorite books? We can see their true colors when they’re expected to parade around in fancy dresses and suits.

Oh, and I vote Hank and John Green host it.

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